By Ruth Benedict                   

At the tender age of four, I prayed a special prayer with my mom and asked Jesus to come in to my heart. At four, I didn’t understand what it would mean to become a Christian. Now, I’ve matured and taken my relationship with Christ from just saying that I was a Christian to acting like a Christian. To me, being a Christian requires making the relationship real and personal by both desiring to follow God’s will and applying what you read in the Bible to your life. I know that having Jesus in my heart means giving God total control of my life. Before I make a decision I try to find out what God has to say, by reading the Bible, talking to my parents and my Christian peers, and praying.

By accepting the Lord at an early age, I was the beneficiary of an invisible protective force around me, if you will. I believe that I belonged to the Lord when I prayed with my mom that night. I didn’t feel any different, but there was an agreement between God and I. When I accepted Jesus that night, I made a pact with God; my life would belong to Him. He watched over me and protected me through my parents.

As I grew, I didn’t fully follow through on my commitment right away. I tried to do the human thing and live life on my own, instead of letting God have control over my thoughts and my actions. There were many steps God took to lead me to a living faith. Many times I tried to ignore God speaking to me, telling me that I needed to follow Him. Eventually as a young teenager, I came to the realization that I needed God in my life, not just on Sundays, but on every day. This relationship with the Lord led me to my best friend, my mother.

My mother is a very unusual woman. When my brother and I were younger, she was very strict. My mother had an attitude that we never questioned. She wouldn’t tolerate any misbehaving whatsoever from us. As we all got older, my mother mellowed out a lot and gave me more freedom to make my own decisions. As I think over our relationship, I can see a definite maturing pattern in both our lives. Now, I consider my mom not only my mother, but also my friend. We have a wonderful relationship that the Lord has blessed, for My mom and I have been growing older and wiser together. The common bond that holds us together is our belief in Jesus. My mom led me to the Lord, and we grew together around our mutual faith.

My mom always stressed control and obedience when she raised my brother and I. If I even gave her a funny look I would get a spanking. I could never say "no" to her; that was grounds for another spanking. What I remember most about those spankings was not the pain, but what happened afterward. Mom would leave the room and let me cry until I couldn’t cry anymore and then she would come back in and say that she loved me. She stressed that she didn’t spank me because she was mad at me, but because she loved me and what I had done was wrong. No matter how hard I tried to stay mad at her, I couldn’t. When she gave me a hug and told me that she loved me, my heart melted and I knew that she meant what she said. I didn’t really mind the discipline because the feelings of anger would soon disappear and be replaced with love.

Through that sort of tough love, my mom gained control over me and I was totally submissive when I was younger. When my mom said "No," I listened. Of course, every child has his moments when he pretends to rule the world and ignore Mom and Pops, but for the most part I obeyed my parents. My cousin Heather, who is only six months older than me lived in the same area when we were toddlers. When we would take our naps, our mothers would occasionally try to gain our cooperation with a piece of gum. They would put it on our pillows and say that we could eat it when we woke up. I always fell for this ruse and would go to sleep. Heather, on the other hand, would wait until they left the room and closed the door. She would immediately unwrap the gum and start chewing.

I went through a brief period of rebellion, like many teenagers, and resented my parents. I didn’t enjoy reading my Bible before Saturday morning cartoons and getting up early for church every Sunday. I tried to find ways to bypass their system, by finding the shortest chapter in the shortest book in the Bible for my required daily Bible reading. I resented the fact that I didn’t have more control over my life. I was being forced to live as a Christian and for a time, I felt like I hated it!

I started to question why I was a Christian, and I realized I was going to church for my parents, not for myself. I had always loved the Lord, and I knew that He loved me, but as a young teenager, I didn’t see the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus. However, I slowly came to realize that I had to form a bond with Jesus, not to please my parents, but to please Him and myself.

I started to realize that my parents were right about living my life for Jesus and giving him control over my life. I started to enjoy reading my Bible and the Lord started to change my heart. I no longer thought of being a Christian as an obligation, but as an opportunity to explore the world of Christianity. I would read the Bible and the words seemed to jump off the page. It was as if the Lord was opening my eyes and I understood what my parents had been trying to tell me for the past 15 years. I began to take what they had taught me and apply it on my own, such as reading the Bible every day. I also began to take what the Lord was teaching me through my prayer and reading the Bible and apply that to my life as well, such as striving to model my life after that of Christ: to "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger," (James 1:19).

My mom always encouraged me to follow God’s will in all aspects of my life, but during this short period I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted. Eventually after I sorted out my feelings on my own, I came to the conclusion that Jesus was my Savior and should have control over my life. Because He designed and made me, He is able to lead me in a direction that will result in my happiness. My mom provided me with a guide and she is my role model. When I think of my mom, that’s who I want to be like, when I grow up.

It’s hard to imagine that a child’s prayer at the age of four can have such an impact on a person’s life. The image of praying with my mom has been engraved in my mind. Even stronger than the memory is the meaning. I know when I prayed that night, with my mom, I belonged to the Lord. This is one of my strongest memories and I know there’s a reason for that. It wasn’t until ten years later when I realized its importance. I reached the age when a young person decides whether to accept their parent’s values as their own and accept their authority or begin breaking away to establish their own values. Some who rebel decide later that they made the wrong decision and return later to be reconciled. But I chose to submit to my parents, not for lack of alternatives, but because my heart belonged to the Lord, and I knew it was right.

My mom and I didn’t always get along perfectly. I remember a when I was 12 to 13 years old when our relationship took a turn for the worse. I constantly tried to show off in front of my friends, talking back to her and pushing her to the limit. In the same way, my mom tried show the utmost control over me. She didn’t care if she embarrassed me in front of my friends, because she had to be right, at any cost. All my other friends’ Moms would say, "We’ll talk about this later," when they got in trouble while friends were over. Not my mom; she would come right out and put me in my place, no matter who was around. It seemed like we were always trying to outdo each other.

As my mom and I both matured, we started to realize how childish we were both acting. When she realized I was going through a change, we talked together about the fact that we were both trying to out-do the other. We came to an agreement that we would try to be more respectful and considerate towards each other. Slowly we started forming a tighter bond and becoming friends, in addition to mother and daughter. I actually enjoyed talking to my mom, and even listened too. We began to pray regularly together and share Bible passages to encourage each other. The day I set out for college my Dad was out of town, so my mom accompanied me. Before we left my mom asked if we could pray together. As I was praying with one of my best friends, I knew that the Lord had an awesome plan in store for me.

My mom and I are so much alike now. If we get in a fight, usually it’s because one of us is too stubborn to admit the other is right. I can tell when she’s in a bad mood, and unless it’s too severe, I can usually cheer her right up. One time a few years back, my mom was upset and being very stubborn about something. In this case our roles were reversed, because I was the one who told her she was being unreasonable and needed to calm down. Our relationship is very much like that. If I’m in a bad mood, my mom will try and talk me out of it, and vice versa. Although at times we feed off each other’s bad moods and we both can become upset, we generally encourage each other. I always know I have someone to look out for me.

Even though I was saved at an early age, there was still a time of recommitment when I was older where I had to put feet to my faith and begin living it among my friends and acquaintances. When presented with the Gospel of Christ, every young person must choose to follow God’s will, or ignore it at their own peril. I don’t think I could ever ignore it. It was always a central part of my life but as a teenager, I began to realize the importance of a ongoing relationship with God, not just a nominal declaration of being a Christian. For a short period I practically led two lives. When I was around my family and my church friends, I was always the "good little girl." But when I was around my non-religious friends I just went with the flow and left God out of my life. I cussed because I thought it was cool, and I tried smoking because "everyone was doing it." After I renewed my commitment to walk with God, I came to the point when I was comfortable with myself and no longer cared what others thought of me. I finally understood one is not a Christian just one day of the week; it’s a lifetime commitment. Eventually I "came out of the closet," and acknowledged Christ in all aspects of my life. I began to stand up for my faith in school and admit that I was a Christian to anyone and everyone. Through all this period of change, my mom was there to cheer me on and encourage me

Growing up in a Christian household hasn’t been strange for me; it is all I’ve ever known. Accepting Jesus at the age of four did mean something to me, even though I may not have understood all the implications at the time. Being a Christian has helped me to have a relationship with my mom that others don’t have. I feel very comfortable talking to her about anything and everything. Most of the time, we just laugh together. My mom loves to laugh, and I love to see her laugh. Through all the ups and downs, I know that I’ll always have someone to turn to for love and support: my mother, my friend and my confidant, who introduced me to my Lord, my friend and my Savior.

Over the years I’ve done some soul searching to discover what I believe about life, and I’m still learning. I’ve made mistakes, some wise choices and I have many more to make. Through all the changes and decisions, my mom has been beside me, offering advice, and an understanding shoulder to cry on. I know that she’ll always have some words of wisdom for me. I’ve learned a lot about life through watching my mom. She taught me to be honest, to follow my heart and to love the Lord. Now that I’m in college, she’s not always available to talk, but I’ve incorporated what she taught me in my independent decisions. My mother is a role model for the woman I hope to become one day and I thank God for my family.

At time of she wrote this, Ruth was finishing her junior year studying Pre-physical Therapy at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, VA.  She graduated from the Medical College of Virginia in May, 2002, and is now a practicing Physical Therapist in Richmond.