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Edited by Mark and Sallie Benedict

This is the full listing of our all articles organized by Subject Area  

 

    

Website Table Of Contents

Introduction to Christian Parents Network: What do we  believe and why did we create this website?  What is our family like?  
Why This Website? 
By Mark Benedict

Parenting is the most important task given to any Christian.  The editor of Christian Family Online explains why he started this website and how it is relevant to parents.
Our Philosophy on Solving Family Problems 
By Mark Benedict

We don't encourage people to look for instant results, but we are positive that you will find "eventual results" if you are willing to follow the Biblical teachings on family relationships.  Give God a chance to work out a lasting solution to your problem and show some patience while he irons out the details.
No Perfect Families 
By Mark Benedict

Every family has its problems.  It's unrealistic to look for perfection in ourselves or others.  The good news is that nearly everyone struggles with many of the same issues so your problems are not unique! God  provides instructions on living successfully in His Word, but we must commit ourselves to obeying Him.
About Our Family 
By Mark Benedict

A quick review of our testimony from over 27 years marriage.  We don't offer ourselves as an example, just a "sample."  The Bible addresses what we need to succeed in family life.  What we need most is the commitment to stay together while God works out the details!
Defining Success:  How God Rewards Families that Persevere 
By Mark Benedict
Raising a family is a high stakes venture but God richly awards those who don't quit.  Your testimony as a Christian is greatly affected by how successful you are in your own home.  Success at home leads to great blessings across multiple generations.  As Christians we need to give some thought to what we expect from our homes so we will know when we've been successful! It is hard to know how to get anywhere when we don't have a destination in mind!
About Marriage:
These articles on achieving a happy and healthy marriage will interest both newlyweds and longtime married couples.    
Marriage 101: Ephesians 5:22-33 "Making Marriage Work" 
By Pastor Dan Erickson

What are the elements of a successful marriage?  Pastor Dan Erickson points Christians to God's Word for success in Marriage. He emphasizes the different roles God has ordained for a man and a woman, while making it clear that men and women are created equal in God's sight.  To correct many commonly held errors on the nature of Biblical submission we must rightly understand the Apostle Paul's directions for marriage from the letter to the Ephesians.
Marriage 102: Cause and Effect in Family Relationships  
By Mark Benedict

What is a covenant relationship and how does it apply to your own family? We need to change our views on marriage to agree with God's view on relationships. Many of our problems result from a worldly view of marriage and family. Considering the many scriptural instructions God gave on the home, family, and marriage can help you avoid the heartbreak of a broken home.
Marriage 103: The Reality of Divorce  
By Dr. John Hoffman

Divorce has tremendously long lasting and negative results. God says that He hates it. Yet the world often paints divorce as a trivial matter. Many even attempt to present it as a positive and helpful solution to marital strife. Read Dr. John Hoffman's article on divorce for a Biblically balanced view on this subject. Sadly, Christians are not immune from failed marriages.
Marriage 104: A  House With Strong Foundations  
By Mark Benedict

What does it take to build a house that will withstand the storms and challenges which are certain to come?  Foundations are hidden and the consequences of an poorly laid foundation do not appear until the onset of structural failure.  What does scripture teach about building our homes?
Marriage 105: 1st Corinthians 7:10-16 "Dealing With Divorce" 
By Pastor Dan Erickson

Divorce is increasingly a matter that affects more Christian families.  Without attempting to justify it's frequency, or encourage it as a solution to marital problems, Pastor Dan Erickson gives his views on Paul's teachings about the subject of divorce and remarriage .
Marriage 106: 1st Corinthians 7:1-40 "Marriage Matters" 
By Pastor Dan Erickson

Before considering marriage, Christians need to consider Paul's practical advice on marriage.  Why is it that you don't often hear a wedding sermon from 1st Corinthians 7:1-40?  Here, Pastor Dan gives the sermon he's never been asked to preach at a wedding!
Marriage 107: 1st Corinthians 6:12-20 "Is it Safe Sex?" 
By Pastor Dan Erickson

What the Bible teaches about "Safe Sex!" Think that the moral problems we face in our society are new?  Some aspects of the sexual revolution in our modern society have taken a new twist, but the issue of moral purity in an impure society was addressed by Paul long before our day. 
Marriage 108: Divorce, Remarriage, and Adultery Part 1" 
By Tony Robinson

This is a comprehensive study using both Old Testament and New Testament Scriptures to give a complete view of the Biblical teachings on marriage and the circumstances where God has provided divorce as an approved remedy to protect the sanctity of the marriage relationship.  This is a long article, but well worth reading!
Marriage 109: Divorce, Remarriage, and Adultery Part 2" 
By Tony Robinson

This is part 2 of a the comprehensive study described above.
About Children: 
Helpful advice for parents on raising godly children who will be prepared to  follow Christ as adults.
Children 101: A Police Officer Talks About Spanking 
By Police Detective Robert R. Surgenor
"For years, I have compiled statistics that indicate when parents eliminate corporal punishment from their discipline plan, the child grows up with an attitude of "no fear." Even when the parent is diligent in other areas of discipline, such as taking away privileges and grounding, when that one element of discipline, spanking, is taken away, the parent usually experiences defiance problems throughout the teen years."  Several years after Robert Surgenor wrote this letter he published a book on the topic of the effect of parents not spanking  their children.  See below,  114: No Fear Book Review and 115: About Robert Surgenor for additional information.

Children 102: What Ever Happened to the Village?  
By Mark Benedict
In America society used to assist parents in raising well disciplined children. Not any more. Fact is, western society is now hard at work doing all it can to make sure parents fail!  Don't trust the village to teach your children about right and wrong unless you will be satisfied to have your children act like the villagers!  For success, you need a winning strategy in the most important ministry God has given to you - bringing your "next generation" to a genuine faith in Christ!

Children 103: Successful Parenting Or Parental Failure?
By Mark Benedict

What should we expect as parents? How can we know if we've succeeded in training our children? What makes an unsuccessful parent and how can we avoid failing at one of our most challenging and important tasks?
Children 104: Ann Landers Takes a Beating Over Spanking!  
By Mark Benedict

Ann Landers advises against spanking but what does god's Word teach? Look at what Ann advised in one of her columns and then read a differing point of view by Mark Benedict concerning Ann's advice to one mother.
Children 105: Best Books For Parents
Reviewed by Mark Benedict

"What the Bible says about ...Child Training. by Richard Fugate. This is simply one of the best books on the how and why of Biblical parenting. Young parents, please read it, you'll be glad you did!

"No Fear" by Ohio police detective Robert Surgenor.  This is a scholarly review of the statistics of youth crime which clearly shows the outrageous lies being propagated by the influential anti-spanking movement in their effort to make it impossible for parents to raise their children using Biblical methods of discipline.  This book also dispels many myths and misrepresentations about state and federal laws on spanking and child rearing.

Children 106: Educational Hoo-Hah?
By Dr. John Rosemond

Parents are responsible for their children's education and discipline. Some just don't get it! If you are expecting your children's school to teach them right and wrong you're in for a wild ride.
Children 107: Disciplining Your Child Early
By Mark Benedict

In our experience the battle for a child's heart is won or lost early, when the child is quite young. This is a critical time when parents help form their children's view of God and their understanding of His justice and truth.
Children 108: Parenting For Dummies - Why Parents are Losing Control of Children
By Mark Benedict

For years parenting has been dumbed-down as parents accepted the false assumptions and ideas offered by the promoters of psychology and other forms of worldly wisdom. Parents, get smart!  Learn to discern the truth by returning to God's Word for practical guidance and instruction on successful parenting.  Do this and you won't be a "dummy" when it comes to raising your children according to the directions God has given in the Bible.

Children 109: Raising Polite, Obedient, and Cheerful Children.
By  Jamie Pritchett

Read Jamie's excellent and encouraging article on how to succeed at parenting by setting the right goals.

"Is it possible? Is there a way to raise children to be polite, obedient and cheerful, or are such children only born to very lucky parents? Those were my questions when my husband and I were first married and were contemplating having children. I had always wanted children and looked forward to the day when I would be a "mom," but I worried about what kind of children mine would be. For I had noticed that I became irritated when I was confronted with whiny and ill-behaved children." 
Author Jaimie Pritchett

Children 110: Disciplining Children
By Dennis L. Finnan
Explains How and Why to Spank, from The World, the Word & You! Broadcast, Commentary by Dennis L. Finnan. "Perhaps there is no greater and more important subject to consider than our world's future. For any such thoughts must of necessity take us to that which will be the future - that is today's children. Yes, children are my subject today, and how to ensure them and our world a bright and wonderful future."
Children 111: Bible Goals in Raising Children
By Warren Doud 

From Grace Notes Home Page. "This paper is not a how-to article on training children, but it gives you some general ideas about the goals parents can set in child training. You will probably have your child in the home for about 18 years, and during that time it is your responsibility to see that the child is educated, trained, and brought to enough spiritual maturity to make the step into Christian adulthood. You can set up a life "curriculum" for your child, for every year of his life, which will enable him to reach his potential in God's plan for his life."
Children 112: Why the Rod is Righteous
By Robert Deffinbaugh
The Way of the Wise: Robert Deffinbaugh, Community Bible Chapel, Richardson, Texas. Studies in the Book of Proverbs. "Most of our reasons for resisting the rod do not go back to our parents. I believe one of the principle reasons why we fail to discipline our children is because we are sluggards. Let’s face it, children never disobey us when it is convenient to discipline them. Sometimes it is in the middle of a Dallas Cowboy’s football game. Who wants to get up and spank a child when it is third down with one yard to go on the opponent’s two yard line? Then again, who is anxious to spank their child in the aisle of a supermarket, when it seems that every eye is on us? If I were to be totally honest I would have to admit that the major reason why I don’t spank as much as I should is because I am too lazy to put forth to the effort to do something I don’t really enjoy."
Children 113: God's Promises on Training Children
By David Cloud, Fundamental Baptist News Service

Scripture has clear promises to parents on what they can expect God to do if they are faithful in training their children. Parents need to teach their children and train them according to Scripture if they are to rely on God to do his part.
Children 114: Review of No Fear: A Policeman's Perspective
No Fear demolishes some of the most cherished myths of the anti-spanking crowd.  Children who are spanked in the context of loving discipline don't become violent!  Yet some of the most violent youth offenders have never experienced a spanking!
Children 115: About the Author of No Fear: A Policeman's Perspective
Ropert Surgenor has extensive experience working with juvenile offenders and their families.  He has been in a position to learn why many families produce juvenile terrors. The answer may surprise you!
Children 116: Bum Rap About Spanking
By Okey Chigbo, featured from www.nextcity.com

The author writes a scholarly analysis which shows a critical logical flaw used in the arguments of spanking opponents who believe that spanking children leads to violence.  Mr. Chigbo reasons from a common sense viewpoint to clear away the smokescreens and get to the real issues:  Children who are not spanked when needed can grow up to be violent, antisocial, and just plain obnoxious.  

Parents are being unnecessarily scared away from using a form of discipline that has been used for many generations by the purveyors of junk science!  It doesn't take a scholar to figure out that since spanking has declined in usage, discipline and social problems with our young people have dramatically increased.
Children 117: Please Don't Spank?
Article by Ms. Lonnit Rysher.  Critical Analysis by Mark Benedict
Mark Benedict gives his comments on Ms. Rysher's anti-spanking article.  Should children be spanked? Do children learn violence from being spanked or do they learn to become uncontrolled and violent by being ineffectively disciplined by their parents?  Draw your own conclusions based on the opposing arguments presented here. What does the Bible teach?
Children 118: The Wicked World of Harry Potter
Written by Dr. Glen Spencer, Mount Vernon Baptist Church, E-Tunkhannock Pennsylvania
Dr Spencer, citing many Scripture passages exposes occult roots of the Harry Potter series.  He clearly shows the reader why Harry Potter books should not be on any child's bookshelf.  I encourage parents who love their children to not be taken in by hype and popular culture but to prove all things and hold fast that which is good!  There are many wholesome alternatives to the Harry Potter books and as discerning Christians we should not be fooled into dropping our guard and letting into our homes that which God has strongly warned us to avoid.  This is must reading for any parent! 
Children 119: What Kids Should Expect From a Working Mother
By Dr. John Rosemond

A penetrating look at how many working mothers are suffering from needless guilt because they have allowed their children to become the center of their lives, even at the cost of leaving their marriage relationship hollow.  Does not recommend that mothers should work but provides a more balanced view towards a mothers responsibilities when work is simply unavoidable, such as for single mothers.
Children 120: The Scars of Sin
By Pastor Ray Steadman
Parents who assume that it is normal for their children to go through a time of rebellion and disobedience are handicapping their future service to the Lord with the resulting scars and baggage of sin. There is an alternative, but it requires parents to seek spiritual victory in their children's lives at all costs. Don't settle for less
Children 121: Parenting Is Not Easy
By Pastor Dan Erickson
Pastor Erickson takes a humorous but insightful look at the challenges of parenting while reminding parents of their essential responsibilities. In the process he shows that many parental problems are actually caused by unresolved problems with the parents.  It is not reasonable for Christian parents to be disobedient and disrespectful in their attitudes towards their own parents and yet expect God to give them success with their own children.
Children 122: Obey God or Man
By Charles Gleason
As the state grows more hostile towards Biblical parenting many parents are afraid to properly discipline their children for fear of falling afoul of State Child Protective Services.  Charles Gleason points out that Christians are to fear God and obey Him, rather than cower before the agents of the State. 
Children 123: Excerpts from the book, "What the Bible Says ... About Child Training"
By Richard Fugate

This is the classic book on raising children for God.  These detailed excerpts are convincing proof as to why all new parents will want to have this book in their reference library. In the face of growing hostility by our society towards Biblical parenting, Christians must understand why and how to effectively discipline their children.  
Children 124: 19 Helpful Thoughts on Raising Children
By Pastor Terry Coomer

Pastor Coomer provides a short checklist for parents to help them start their children out on the right path. The only way you can implement these 19 practices is to live a faithful and true Christian life by relying on God's grace moment by moment!
Children 125: The Folly of Sweden.  Outlaw Spanking and Make Parents Into Criminals!
Mrs. Siv Westerberg

Sweden has often been cited as a country which has spear-headed the effort to completely eliminate spanking.  There are many Swedes who believe this has not had a positive effect on Swedish Society.  Mrs. Siv Westerberg's lecture to The Family Education Trust  taken from www.nkmr.org/siv_westerbergs_london_lecture.htm provides an interesting account of the current situation in Sweden that should give spanking critics something to consider. 

Swedish parents fear having their children taken from them and put into forcible care and foster homes for the "crime" of using discipline methods not improved by the social visionaries who crafted Sweden's laws. "Sweden has, during the last decades, developed into a kind of socio-medical totalitarian state...About five thousand Swedish children are at present in forcible care in foster-homes and institutions. Add to that about ten thousand children who are taken "voluntarily" into care. That is to say, their parents are told that unless they sign papers which say they gave up their children voluntarily, they will never see them again"

The other interesting fact is that violent assaults by youths in Sweden have sky-rocketed since Sweden outlawed spanking!

Children 126: Parenting 1.01 Bible Based Basics For New Parents
By Gordon Rampy

Parenting 1.01 consists of seven concise articles developed from a Christian perspective using  sound, Biblical principles for building strong, love-bonded families. The articles emphasize parental example, spousal harmony and firm, consistent, loving discipline as keys to success.  The importance of applying these principles during the early, critical period of child rearing is stressed.

The author, Gordon A. Rampy, is an experienced, successful parent -- old-fashioned and politically incorrect -- who, with the help of God and a godly wife, raised four happily-married sons.  He believes the Biblical charge, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" provides the basis for restoring the family to its position as the foundation of our society.

Children 127: Book Review, Buddy Scott's Book "Relief For Hurting Parents"
By Mark Benedict

I whole-heartedly recommend Buddy Scott’s book, “Relief for Hurting Parents” as one of the best books I have ever read on dealing with problem teenage children.  Buddy Scott offers an outstanding collection of Biblically sound and practical approaches to dealing with disobedient teenagers.  Buddy Scott also provides materials and support for parenting support groups.

About Your Church:  
How should a Christian choose a Church to fellowship with?  What does scripture teach about separation from doctrinal error?  Do we need to be concerned about what is taught at the church we attend?

Church 101: Should We Publicly Correct Christians? 
By Debra Bouey

Many Christians incorrectly cite Matthew 18 as teaching that we should not publicly correct those who teach error in the church. This misapplication ignores the clear example the Apostle Paul provides in the New Testament scriptures and his many exhortations to zealously guard the purity of teaching in the local church. Debra Bouey writes on the scriptural basis for public correction in a spirit of love.

Church 102: Touch Not the Lord's Anointed? 
By Dennis Costella
The Biblical story of David and Saul is used as a mistaken justification for the notion that Christians are not to publicly disagree with other Christian leaders, even when they are in error. Dennis Costella, who works with the Fundamental Evangelistic Association, provides an excellent Scriptural explanation of our duty towards those that err when it comes to public teaching, doctrine, or way of life.

Church 103: Christian Correction 
By Mark Benedict

We often shrug off our responsibility to encourage one another to love and good works. We decline to speak to others concerning their offenses, yet are quick to complain to others and gossip. The scriptures call us to a path which requires a willingness to be open and honest while maintaining short accounts with those who offend us.

Church 104: What is a Fundamentalist?  
By Mark Benedict
The term "fundamentalist" has been turned into a pejorative used against Christians who express faith in God's Word.  What is a fundamentalist and why is it important that we hold hold fast to the fundamentals? 

Church 105: Biblical Separation 
By Dennis Costella
What do the scriptures teach about separating from those who teach error and cause divisions in the Church?  Read Dennis Costella's penetrating essay about the duty of every Christian to take a clear stand towards doctrinal error.

Church 106: Christian Fellowship  
By Mark Benedict

Every Christian has an inborn need for close fellowship and companionship with other Christians, but there are many obstacles to be overcome in our busy world. To experience our Christian birthrights we must study God's Word and make time available to be with other Christians

Church 107: A Letter to the Church Leadership 
By Mark Benedict

You Should Be Concerned About Your Church If...  Several years ago we were forced to re-evaluate our membership in a church we had been attending. There were a few things that had been bothering us and we were finally forced to face them head on. Although we dearly loved our friends there and had grown to appreciate many of the members of the congregation, we couldn't overlook the fact that the preaching from the pulpit was sliding away from the basic gospel of Paul. If you read the book of Acts, and the other Pauline Epistles (letters which the Apostle Paul wrote), you will find a fairly concise presentation of the "Good News!"

I wrote a letter to the pastor and elders and laid out my concerns in detail. The letter, and several references to material which I included as relevant to what was happening in this particular church are included below. If your church is seeking to grow, you may find some of these materials apply to your own situation. Hope you will read these as good Bereans and carefully consider the truth of what is written. For more information on contemporary church issues we invite you to read
New Evangelicalism by David Cloud at the Fundamental Baptist News Service.

Church 108: Two Gates 
By Don Stuart

An excellent mediation on why we experience problems and temptations when we open our lives to evil through direct disobedience.  We control what we allow ourselves to see and hear. It is always better to obey God and avoid evil since we are then spared the after effects and memories of sin.    

Church 109: The Right Kind of Help 
By Oswald Chambers

This short excerpt from Oswald Chambers excellent devotional book, "My Utmost for His Highest" explains why we are called to present the Gospel to the world and not just to do good or speak kind things to the unbelieving.     

Questions and Answers from our Mailbox:  
Our readers sometimes write us to ask some interesting questions.   We can't answer every letter but when we feel we have something to contribute we try to help our readers.  These are the letters that apply to many other Christians with similar challenges.

Questions and Answers 101: Strict Father Leaves Mother Reluctant to Spank Own Child 
By Mark Benedict
The editor answers a mother who is reluctant to spank her misbehaving son because of her own memories of her stern disciplinarian father.  Read the editor's surprising advice and this mother's response to the advice given.
Questions and Answers 102: Dealing with a Strong Willed Child Part 1 
By Mark Benedict
Parents of twin daughters find that one of the twins is well behaved and compliant, while the second girl is strong willed and defiant.  They ask some detailed questions as to how they should deal with the child.  After trying everything else they are ready to begin spanking but have a number of questions as to how it should be done.  This is the first part of an exchange of letters that covers quite a few months and includes feed back from the parents after they begin to implement some of the advice given by the editor. 
Questions and Answers 103: Dealing with a Strong Willed Child Part 2 
By Mark Benedict
This is the follow-up to the article above and includes the parents reply to the editor nearly two years after the beginning of the correspondence that begins in Part 1.  The parents found a marked improvement to their situation after implementing Biblical discipline to include the use of spanking.
Questions and Answers 104: Mother Asks, "Should I Spank 16 Year Old Step Daughter?" 
By Mark Benedict
This mother is part of a blended family with a 10 year old daughter of her own as well as a 16 year old stepdaughter.  She is considering whether she should spank her 16 year old step daughter for a major incident of misbehavior.  The editor believes that blended families require special attention when it comes to administering discipline and provides advice tailored to this mothers situation.
Questions and Answers 105: Mother Asks, When Do I Stop Spanking My Child? 
By Mark Benedict
The editor believes as a matter of strategy that children who are properly disciplined as young toddlers will require very few applications of corporal punishment later, as they grow older. However, the primary reason to spank is to correct a child's defiant or rebellious attitude and Scripture does not specify an age at which spanking should stop.  Read the editor's own guidelines for this mother.
Questions and Answers 106: Wayward Daughter Defies Mother to Go on Birth Control 
By Mark Benedict
What should parents do when their teen-age children choose to defy their parents to make adult decisions while still living under their parents roof?  In this situation, the editor advises these parents to treat their daughter like an adult and hold her responsible for her decisions.  When a teen-ager is not satisfied with the rules set by their parents they have two choices.  Learn to live under their rules or establish their own household and pay their own rent and thereby take personal responsibility for the consequences of their choices.
Questions and Answers 107: Why, When, and How to Spank! 
By Mark Benedict
One of our favorite articles.  This is a short practical discussion of spanking that is designed to provide a quick overview of Biblical Discipline for parents.  Why should we use spanking rather than other disciplinary alternatives? When should a spanking be administered for maximum effectiveness?  What are the mechanical basics of spanking, should parents use a utensil (commonly known as a rod) and what should happen before and after a spanking?
Questions and Answers 108: Mother Worried Over Child's Confusion Over Sexual Identity 
By Mark Benedict
When a 5 year old boy displays inappropriate behavior towards other children his mother is very concerned that he is confused over his sexual identity.  She asks the editor if she should seek Christian psychiatric care.  The Editor's advice: Maybe she's overly worried about the wrong things in this situation!  All Children need to hear the Gospel and trust Christ for salvation.  Every parent needs to pray fervently for the salvation of their children. Christian Psychiatrists?  This is a contradiction in terms that is not easily reconciled! Is there really such a thing?  Read for yourself and decide!
Secret to Success:  
We're not trying to keep any secrets.  Sometimes the answers to seemingly difficult and complex questions are so simple that people overlook them.  Here we attempt to highlight the fact that God hasn't made it difficult to find solutions for difficult problems.  Things often seem hard because we don't pay attention to God's Word.
Secrets 101: Read the Bible  
By Mark Benedict
The path to understanding life, hard questions, and successful Christian living is simply to read the Bible consistently in a disciplined manner.  Many Christians waste far too much time looking for complex solutions to their problems.  Reading self-help books or seeking paid “professional” counseling before seeking the counsel of God's Word is guaranteed to complicate an already troubled situation.
Secrets 102: Disciplining Your Child Early
By Mark Benedict

In our experience the battle for a child's heart is won or lost early, when the child is quite young. This is a critical time when parents help form their children's view of God and their understanding of His justice and truth.
Secrets 103: Set Bible Goals For Raising Children
By Warren Doud 

From Grace Notes Home Page. "This paper is not a how-to article on training children, but it gives you some general ideas about the goals parents can set in child training. You will probably have your child in the home for about 18 years, and during that time it is your responsibility to see that the child is educated, trained, and brought to enough spiritual maturity to make the step into Christian adulthood. You can set up a life "curriculum" for your child, for every year of his life, which will enable him to reach his potential in God's plan for his life."
 

 

 
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