| By Mark Benedict
When
it comes to parenting, I truly believe Christian parents need the help of books and
materials produced by men and women of God. The current flood of misinformation and
propaganda has been whittling away at the institution of the family with devastating
effects.
Parents with young children wondering if they should
spank their children will be greatly encouraged by Detective Robert
Surgenor's book No Fear: A Police Officer's
Perspective. This book contains carefully gathered statistics
which prove what most of you already knew was true. Sparing the rod does
lead to spoiled children! You skeptics may want to read the first hand
information he has collected on the problems caused by ineffective
parenting.
On the principles and mechanics of training children, I heartily recommend as one of the best I have read on the subject, Richard
Fugate's book called What the Bible says about ...Child
Training. This book is published by Aletheia Publishers, Inc, PO Box 3153,
Tempe, AZ, 85280.
I recommend parents read it for some very practical scriptural instructions on raising
children. I wish Sallie and I had read this book years ago, since it would have eliminated
much of the trial and error learning that we experienced with our two children. Even
today, I found the book especially helpful, particularly in view of the humanistic
teachings now being circulated in the public school systems. Here are just a few passages
from this excellent tool for parents:
Parental authority delegates to parents the right to rule the children
under their control. No other institution or person has rulership rights over children.
Neither society, school personnel, nosy individuals, nor even other institutions have any
authority over children. The parents' power over their children is accountable to
government only through God's laws concerning incest, injury, and murder. Parents are
directly responsible to God for any misuse of their authority. There are no such thing as
child rights sanctioned by the Word of God. The child has only the God-given
right to be raised by his parents without the intervention of any other institution.
When a government begins to misuse its authority it goes beyond its
boundaries and begins to undermine parental authority. The tendency then is to make the
child responsible to the state rather than to the parents. Historically this has occurred
many times with tragic results. The governments of such nations as Sparta, Hitler's
Germany , and Communist Russia have usurped the parents role. Page 31-32
Raising a child is not training. Plants and animals are raised. To raise
something means to grow it. To raise a child would only consist of feeding, clothing, and
protecting him from destruction until he reaches physical maturity. While it is true today
that most parents are only raising their children, raising does not constitute
the training of the soul that God intends.
If you desire for your child to become obedient and willing to accept God's
standards as his own, you will have to utilize the process that God has designed to obtain
these results. Biblical child training produces a quality character much different than
would have developed had the child been left alone to grow up according to his own nature.
God's Word commands parents specifically to so alter the nature of their children.
Page 64-65
As a parent you are always training your child, even if you are not
teaching him according to God's standards. Simply because you are in the position of
rulership, your child will receive his direction from you -- right or wrong. You set the
standards for his acceptable conduct either by what you allow (training by default) or by
what you intentionally teach (overt negative training).
If a child is rude, inconsiderate, and selfish, he has been trained to be
that way. If a child is lazy and sloppy or is disrespectful and a troublemaker, he has
been trained that way. Parents do not intentionally train their children to reflect these
negative characteristics; yet it is very easy to train a child in these undesirable
behavior patterns because they reinforce his natural inclinations.
When parents simply do nothing, the child is trained to think that whatever
he wants to do is all right. This inaction is negative training by default. Page 72.
If you're new to parenting you won't go wrong to start your library with this one.
Write the publisher or order through The Berean Call, an excellent
newsletter addressing contemporary Christian issues. Author Dave Hunt points out the
problems with many Christian Fad Doctrines He writes forcefully, yet in a
spirit of Christian love. He also offers many excellent books and tapes not normally
available in bookstores, to include "What the Bible Teaches ...About Child
Training." His newsletter is free. I read it cover to
cover. Visit his website at
http://www.thebereancall.org
You can also write
him at the following address and ask to be put on his mailing list:
THE BEREAN CALL
PO BOX 7019
BEND, OR 97708
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